Gutfeld: Admitting they’re hypocrites ain’t in their DNA
‘Gutfeld!’ panelists react to the media’s hypocrisy and their inability to admit that they’re wrong.
So who wants to have fun at the media’s expense?
NARRATOR: And now the “Gutfeld!” show presents: “You Can’t Fix the Media. You Can Only Let It Die Because They Are Beyond Help and Suck Harder than a Million Vacuum Cleaners Powered by a Zillion Black Holes.” And this claim is backed by science.
So remember when Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin eased restrictions on mask mandates? The media mocked and condemned him like the Romans did Jesus.
VARIOUS JOURNALISTS AND PUNDITS: Glenn Youngkin campaigned as if he were an ordinary suburban fleece-wearing dad with moderate and inoffensive views.
Youngkin did exactly what a Republican does when they get into power. Let’s look at what’s going on. Let’s move this state back 50 years.
Virginia Gov. and Trump-in-training Glenn Youngkin. Covered politics, makes a lot of Republican governors stupid.
Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin.
(AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)
But now that other Democrat governors are doing the same thing, magically, the media changes their tune quicker than a jukebox on meth.
VARIOUS JOURNALISTS AND PUNDITS: More signs the country is pushing to get back to normal. New Jersey, Delaware, Connecticut, Oregon and California all moved to relax their mask mandates.
These are all states led by Democrats and once hard-hit COVID zones, and they seem to be decisions driven by science, not politics. Well look, the facts are great. We’re headed in the right direction.
I think we hoped we would be. The responsibility should shift from a government mandate imposed from the state or the local district of the school. Rather, it should shift to an individual responsibility by the family.
It’s official. You can now add these goobers to the list of other invertebrates like jellyfish, slugs, snails and tapeworms. Because since things have changed and the Dems are doing what Youngkin already did, the mockery stops.
Not, to be fair, you say they follow the science, but why be fair when they really followed the political science?
Just days ago, when Youngkin suffered a legal setback over ending mask mandates, Dems were dunking on him like Brian Stelter on a crueller, but now they’re voting on legislation that copies him.
They’re like the dumb kids copying the answers off the smart kids’ tests.
So you’d think in the media’s coverage, they’d credit Youngkin for being bravely ahead of the game, but you got a better chance of Pelosi admitting her face is 85 percent modeling clay because admitting they’re hypocrites ain’t in their DNA.
I doubt they even know what that word means.
Now, while it’s great to change your mind based on data, you’d think they would think ahead about that possibility before mocking the dude who made that right call first.
But no, there are obviously two-faced, fairweather liars jumping on the bandwagon. This is not amnesia, it’s arrogance, for they believe they can get away with it.
I call them flip-phonies. Pretty clever, eh? I came up with it this morning after putting mescaline in my Count Chocula.
In one instance, they’ll defund actual rioters, then the next brand peaceful protesters as insurrectionists. They’ll claim the Canadian truckers are violent radicals without evidence, but then ignore the Antifa militant who plowed his Jeep Patriot, of all things, into the convoy protest.
Truckers carry jerrycans to refuel as truckers continue to protest vaccine mandates against Covid-19, in Ottawa, Canada.
(Kadri Mohamed/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images)
And another they’ll defend Defund the Police then claim they never did. And when homeless men start beating women with baseball bats in the streets of Seattle, they hide their anti-cop bias like it’s an ugly baby.
They question the validity of an election in 2016 and then call anyone else a traitor if they do the same thing four years later.
So rather than analyze their own rush to judgment, they just run away from the crime scene like smash-and-grabbers from Kay Jewelers.
Maybe it’s how they’re able to sleep at night. Well, that and hanging upside-down. But it all stems from one insecurity — they can’t admit they’re wrong.
It’s quite the contrast when you see the podcast world exploding or successes like this little weird show that comes on at 11 p.m. What do they all have in common, other than most of us can’t pass a drug test?
We all admit that we’re wrong. I try to do it a few times a week, though it’s hard when you’re almost always right. But every now and then, I have to take off my cape.
Back in 2016, I was wrong on Trump, and initially I was wrong on Covington. I was wrong to take hair advice from Kilmeade, and it was wrong taking the under on how long Jesse’s show would last.
Finally, I was wrong on Canada. Turns out they do have indoor plumbing.
Anyway, being able to admit you’re wrong is like having opposable thumbs or no tail.
It’s a sign you’ve evolved, but being resistant to it means you’re just like the dying legacy media, which can never admit they’re wrong at all, because maybe they’re wrong so much, they do four hours of news, then have to do four hours of undoing their news.
But maybe they’re coming around under Jill Biden’s White House, or whoever is responsible for changing those batteries and then steering him toward the podium.
The Department of Homeland Security just issued a heightened terrorism alert due to, get this, the proliferation of false or misleading narratives which sow discord or undermine public trust in U.S. government institutions.
The Homeland Security Department replacing its color-coded terror alert system. (AP)
They also cite conspiracy theories introduced and/or amplified by foreign and domestic threats. This advisory, much like Kat’s house arrest, remains in effect until June 7.
But this morning’s big news. The DHS finally got around to watching CNN and MSNBC because it’s the legacy media churning out the false and misleading narratives that sow discord.
They peddled the Russian collusion hoax, that which undermined our elections. They lied about Kyle Rittenhouse and then a terrorist who ran over six people at a Christmas parade.
They portrayed all police as violent rogues, causing a Ferguson effect that led to the crime wave. And they denied the lab leak. They embraced every hate crime hoax they could find.
They pushed defunding the police and no cash bail. They even called parents terrorists. Oh wait, that one was the government. It’s going to be funny when they have to kick down their own doors at dawn and arrest themselves.
Maybe they should put up that fence around the Capitol again and just put a padlock on it. Anyway, it’s good to see the president and his administration coming around to seeing the destructive nature of a vindictive media.
I bet it’s sure going to be hard to slap the cuffs on your best friends. But I could be wrong. I probably am.
It’s not hard, but at least I’ll admit it.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the February 9, 2022 edition of “Gutfeld!”
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